hunenka:

I used to
like the “You’re not a grunt, Dean, you’re a genius” speech Sam gives in Trial and Error. It felt like one of the
rare moments in which Sam puts Dean first, shows his concern for Dean’s
well-being, his worry over Dean’s low self-esteem etc. But then I started
thinking about it, about what Sam is saying and what he is doing. And then I
didn’t really like it anymore.

“You’re the
best damn hunter I’ve ever known, Dean,” Sam says. “Better than me, better than
dad.” But then he follows it up by demanding that Dean prove his trust in Sam
by handing the Trials over to him.

Which is…
weird? Because if Dean is a better hunter than Sam, wouldn’t it make more sense
to let Dean do it? They could easily find another hellhound for Dean to kill. And Sam could “take Dean to the light at the end of the tunnel” by being supportive, standing by Dean’s side and helping him get through the Trials.

So Sam
either lied about thinking Dean’s a better hunter than him (after all, he’s
bragged about being better than Dean on several occasions before) and just said
it to move Dean and make him more compliant. Or he really believes Dean’s better than him, but lets
his pride and his constant need to be the chosen one, the savior, the only one
who can “do it”, get in the way.

And I’m not
accepting “Sam didn’t want Dean to embark on a suicide mission” as an argument
here. Because the whole “this is suicide for you, but I want to survive it” thing is in fact nothing more than artificial drama created by Sam to support his case. Nowhere in this episode does Dean say
he’s not going to do everything in his power to survive the Trials. Hell,
logically speaking, if you want to do the Trials, you kind of have to be alive
for it, don’t you?

It wasn’t an “I know I’m going to die on this mission” situation for Dean (unlike Alpha and Omega).

All Dean
was saying was, “This will be dangerous and there’s a big chance the
Trials will hurt or even kill the one doing them, and since I’m never going to stop
hunting and am prepared to die hunting, while you’ve been talking almost non-stop about going back to a normal
life and your new-found happiness, I’m thinking I should be the one risking my
life here, not you.”

Considering
the way Sam has been acting the entire season 8 prior to this episode – being
angry at Dean for dragging him back to hunting, saying he’s ready to quit for good – he should be glad that Dean’s willing to take on this task.
But Sam can’t let that happen, because there’s another factor in play: his ever-present
need (almost obsession) to “prove himself” to others (especially Dean, but also
John or Bobby). To be seen as a hero, to be trusted and respected. “Please
believe in me too.”

Which, at
this point, where Sam is still jealous of Dean’s relationship with Benny (the trust Dean has in someone who is not Sam,
someone who, unlike Sam, has never let Dean down), is I believe the real main
reason why Sam chose to do the Trials. It’s not about showing Dean the
light at the tunnel or whatever. It’s about Sam. Again.

And Sam’s actions and words thoughout the rest of the season, including the infamous Sacrifice speech, only support that.