hunenka:

Ah, good
bad old SPN and it’s insistence that if you go through something scarring and
traumatic, you have to open up about it the instant someone demands it, instead of dealing with it at your own
pace (even if that means repressing the issue for a while—which isn’t always
such a horrible thing) and then confiding in a person of your own choosing once you feel safe and comfortable doing so.

The thing is that despite popular belief (that ignores tons of evidence), Dean has never been able to keep things locked up inside him for too long, he
opens up about what’s bringing him down sooner or later to someone—it’s just
that it’s not always Sam he chooses to confide in. We’ve seen Dean have these
talks with all sorts of people he meets and
feels comfortable sharing with.

I can’t
help feeling that Dean’s anger and frustration in these “you’ve
been through something bad, Dean, you gotta talk to me about it” situations stems from the incessant nagging and insisting (usually from Sam) that he’s not okay, that he’s processing grief/pain/trauma the wrong way and he has to start doing it Sam’s
way right now.

(I also think
Sam’s insistence that Dean has to process things immediately, openly and in
front of Sam is actually because Sam himself processes things through Dean. And if Dean doesn’t give him the
chance to do that, Sam starts to freak out because he can’t focus on Dean
dealing with things and has to face those things himself.)