smartiespn:

saferincages replied to your post “Not sure why it’s so easy to give a character that has only been…”

a thing that I find very unsettling is that there’s an element to the way Dean is treated/responded to that reminds me of the real life issues of being a “good” survivor of trauma. in other words, your hurt and grief and survival is only worthwhile if you cope with it and react in approved of ways, and thus Dean is consistently shamed and invalidated, no matter what he does.

if he grieves openly, he’s Too Much, he’s being too maudlin, he should get it together. if he suppresses it, throws himself into work, exhibits stoicism or anger, he’s being mean and hard. if he agrees and compromises, and it goes wrong, it’s his fault. if he disagrees, he’s being closed-minded. I honestly don’t get it. he has this tremendous empathy that gets overlooked which is very important to me but that’s a digression here, I just…

I want him to be HEARD and regarded and given the benefit of basic compassion, and it keeps being denied him over and over again, because he dares to be complex and not easily reduced (and not characterized as a confused manchild oops), because his goodness and his heroism isn’t there to be giggled at cutely or to be easily defined. he’s earned respect and trust, he’s more than earned at least a modicum of space and understanding.

(idk if what I’m trying to express even makes sense any more, I love him so much and I’m tired)

I had to gather your separate responses into one post. Well said.