Another reason why Dean is so self-conscious about his intelligence

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So I was sitting here, re-watching “After School Special” when a couple things occurred to me.

We all know that the Winchesters moved around a lot, and went to a bunch of different schools.  We know that the boys probably missed chunks of information that all the other kids got, just because they were moving so much.  But the only glimpses of their schooling that we were ever shown involved the boys in high school.  By this time, Dean and Sam were both teenagers, and it wouldn’t have seemed strange that they walked themselves to and from school, and that their dad was never on campus.  So John trusted Dean to get he and Sam to and from school every day without anyone noticing.

But what about when they were younger?  We know that John used to leave the boys alone for long periods of time in a motel (when they weren’t with Pastor Jim or Bobby) and Dean’s orders were to stay inside, don’t answer the door, don’t answer the phone.  They were low profile.  Sam wouldn’t have even started school until Dean was 9 years old, but there was no way that Dean would have left Sam by himself in a motel.  And what did Dean do in those early years?  Did he even go to school, or did he miss weeks or months at a time?  What about once Sam was old enough to go, but still young enough where teachers would have expected to see parents?  It’s hard to keep a low profile when the only other person a teacher sees is a kid’s 9 year old brother, picking them up and dropping them off.  It’d be enough to start asking questions.  

So now I want to know what happened to Dean in those years.  Is he so self-conscious about his own education because he was actually missing huge chunks of information and skills that all the other kids took for granted?  Even the most intelligent people can have a hard time later in life if they’re never given the building blocks required for more advanced understanding.  But Dean was so smart, and so brave, and so determined.  He learned other things, from other sources.  He learned about life, and surviving.  He learned about school and relationships from the tv he watched all day long when he wasn’t allowed to go to school, because he had to stay at the motel and take care of Sam.

I just realized all of this, and it’s made me even angrier at John Winchester and his piss poor attempt at parenting.

I NEVER THOUGHT OF THIS. You’re brilliant, love, and you’re absolutely right. Devastating headcanon assimilated.

Thanks!  It makes sense though, right?  I never thought of this until I was re-watching that episode.  And it goes just a little bit further in explaining why Dean never thought his own education was important, but he was always so proud of Sammy’s accomplishments 🙂

So I don’t know a lot about the American school system.

But I wonder.. Maybe John sent Sam and Dean to school once Sam was old enough.. and Dean would probably collect him and drop him off (after John went the first two days to show “there’s a parent”).. So Sam’s schooling was a bit irregular because of the moving and all, but he went to school almost like normal kids.

And Dean would help him with his homework.. Only Dean never really learned to read or do basic maths.. So he’d struggle and try to teach himself just a few minutes before explaining to his brother how to solve a maths problem, how to answer a question for that English text. He’d help his brother who already learned the basics in school while Dean had to re-read and struggle through.

So to him it always looked like Sam was quicker to understand than him.. so he never even thought that maybe it wasn’t because he was lacking in intelligence but because his education was lacking. Kids don’t think that far.

Exactly!  And if we’re continuing with this particular headcanon: Dean never got the comfort of singing songs in school, or enjoying reading time with his classmates, or making macaroni pictures for John, because even if Dean DID go to school, he couldn’t focus.  Because he knew what was really out there, knew there were more important things for him to think about, and worry about.  Dean could never bring himself to color, or play at recess because he knew that his dad was busy hunting monsters, and that Dean’s time would be better spent taking care of Sammy.

You can see canon evidence of this as well. Dean tends to count on his fingers. He has a high level of comprehension for social cues and languages, but tends to defer “reading and studying” for his geek brother. He is very self conscious about his lack of schooling and often uses it as a marker between the brothers. Dean just thinks of himself as deadbeat drop out with a GED, while he is extremely proud of his brother’s education, though it was just as fractured as his own, technically. 

But what Sam had that Dean didn’t have was an advocate. A support system. Someone who could help him learn to read with the Great Illustrated Classics Books while Dean was busy trying to make every version of Poor Man’s Mac and Cheese. 

But signs of Dean’s intelligence are everywhere. If you look in Dark Side of the Moon on the wall of Dean’s bedroom, there are framed pictures of Dean’s artwork that are highly advanced for the skill level of a four year old. 

In Bobby’s journal and John’s journal, you see evidence of him being able to read very early on, as he was studying lore at six and seven years old. 

But no matter how intelligent you are, if you are missing that much school it’s bound to take effect on your ability to reason and problem solve. It is going to take a toll on your cognitive ability to use critical thinking. Oh and by the way, chronic truancy and failure to get your children to school is a sign of neglect and abuse.

Dean had an incredibly fragmented education and this is evident in the way he interacts with academia even now.

However, I’ve noticed that he’s not afraid of the research in these later seasons. He is poring over volume after volume looking for a cure for the MOC. Dean also writes in a journal, though it isn’t shown often. I can think of three separate times that his journal is shown in canon. It’s black and leather bound. 

Dean is more creative than he gives himself credit for and he can notice patterns and has amazing spacial reasoning. All of these are important for hunting in general but can lead to him feeling like he doesn’t express his intelligence the same way that Sam did. 

He’s super musically inclined and that takes a great deal of intelligence, and he can remember even the smallest detail about a song or band he likes, which is evidenced in the conversation he has with Nick Monroe in Sex and Violence. 

Dean is a genius, but he isn’t very well educated. And that just depresses the hell out of me.