Hello! I was wondering what your option was on the double standard that episode 12×04 was showing. It’s great that they pushed the fact that families sometimes need space, but what about Dean? Why did /he/ have to learn that lesson? Whenever he needed space ( after hell, after Dad’s death and so on ) he didn’t get it and was put down for wanting it. Sam kept pushing. But in season 5 when he got it he was punished for it. Do you find that to be just as almost annoying and kinda of heartbreaking?

dustydreamsanddirtyscars:

Hey there anon!

There indeed exists a long standing pattern in which it seems “Dean has to learn to accept other’s decisions, but isn’t rewarded the same freedom of choice”. You name a few instances, Demon!Dean was probably the most extreme case here and really made a comment on this pattern.

In this week’s episode however to me this didn’t feel like “Silly Dean has to learn a lesson” (and I do hate these kinds of episode stories), but for me showcased pretty well how different the brothers relate to Mary. I think it was shown pretty well that Sam was just as short tempered when push came to shove as Dean, he just hid it better while Dean didn’t bother hiding his disappointment at all. When Sam talked to the mother for example, I personally think he got as intense as he got not just due to his own experiences, but also simply due to the “motherly aspect”.

So while on the surface Sam seemed like more okay with Mary leaving, I don’t think he was portrayed to be absolutely happy with Mary’s choice. I think he tried to appear that way with Dean, but I don’t think he was as calm as he seemed. He definitely was not as affected by Mary’s leaving as Dean was though and to me that just captures really well that in many ways sadly the current situation is much easier for Sam than for Dean, because Sam meets Mary for the first time, he never knew her, he has no memories, doesn’t have to reunite the past with the present in the same way Dean has to.and ultimately – and I know this sounds harsh, but it is actually not meant that way, but I don’t know how to word it better – Sam may have missed a mother, but he has missed Mary in a very different way than Dean missed her. Soo Mary being gone again in general may be less hard on Sam, simply because he lived without her from childhood on, whereas for Dean there are a whole lot of memories bubbling back up that make Mary leaving even harder for him.

#EmotionalProtectiveDean!Girl!Blogging2016

I do see what you mean, and I dislike these kinds of “lesson learning” things when it comes to Dean’s emotions getting trivialized or framed as “wrong” by the show, but in this episode that’s just not the vibe I got from it. May be the only one in feeling that way though…