Absurd Arguments about S4

bitterdeangirls:

Sorry in advance, but this rant needs to happen.

It kills me how some people try to claim that if Dean just hugged Sam enough, he wouldn’t have run off with Ruby and drank demon blood, and killed Lilith and started the apocalypse. Wow. That’s beyond crazy. Or if he had agreed with Sam’s plans to do all of these things, then Sam would not have actually done any of them (Let’s forget for a second that trust cannot be demanded, but it should in fact be earned. Let’s forget that Dean TRIED to support Sam by listening to him, working with Ruby, and holding back his own objections on multiple occasions. Let’s forget for a second that not agreeing with someone’s course of action, is not in fact the same as having no faith in them or their goodness, and Dean had expressed that he does have faith in Sam ad nauseum during S1-3). This idea that disagreeing with someone’s actions is the same as condemning them as a person is a falsity Sam believes in his own mind, but that doesn’t make it true.

But more importantly, why are we making Dean responsible for Sam’s choices (I mean, isn’t that the problem with their relationship? Not the solution)? And by what logic does agreeing with someone who wants to do something dangerous and destructive lead to them magically realizing that they shouldn’t do that thing? Dean DID try to do this understanding thing with Ruby during I Know What You Did Last Summer and Heaven and Hell? It didn’t work. Sam went right back to lying and sneaking around.  Didn’t he try apologizing and talking about it with Sam in Metamorphosis? It didn’t work. Sam refused talk or to listen. Didn’t he try begging? It didn’t work. Sam continued to lie. Didn’t he even try tearfully begging? It didn’t work. Sam insisted on doing what he wanted, and decided that not agreeing to doing what he wanted equaled not trusting him (not not trusting Ruby), which is a crime in Sam’s eyes.

Even besides all of these things, why is Dean charged with knowing the right things to say/ do to change Sam’s mind? It’s not up to Dean to change Sam’s mind. It’s up to Sam to change his own mind, to recognize truth when it is presented. To recognize and then do the right thing. Sam was not simply lied to. He was also told the truth, on multiple occasions, from multiple sources (all more trustworthy than the source who was lying). He made the choice to believe one over the other each and every time. He chose poorly. This is not different from any other choice we make in life. There is the truth and there are the lies. There are truth tellers and there are deceivers. Both options are open to us. It is up to us to decide which paths we will follow, which things we will believe. To seek out truth and learn to recognize it, to know it, and to go after it. That is just how life works. It would be nice if we lived in a world with no lies, but that is simply not the case.

If Sam had not been told the truth, if he had only ever been fed the lie, I’d have had more sympathy for his mistake. Then we could say “he couldn’t have known.” But having had so many chances to choose the right thing, and having rejected those chances each and every time, no matter what form they took, that is not something I can find very much pity for. A little, but not much. Not when he had copious knowledge that should have warned him away from his current course of behavior. He KNEW that those powers were demon given for the purpose of him leading the demons. He KNEW that most all of the special kids that engaged those powers went crazy and turned dark side. He KNEW that demons are excellent liars. He KNEW that demon blood altered the special kids in the first place.

Whether he was warned of the lie or not, he had enough information to question it. But here’s the thing, he WAS warned, over and over again. By Dean as far back as season 3. He was warned by a prophet of god. He was warned by a psychic, and he was warned gently. He was begged and pleaded with and reasoned with. Yet he chose the liar and the lie anyway. It is doubly his fault, his responsibility, his choice.

(Not to mention, expecting the tortured, broken, traumatized one to be responsible for fixing the all the problems is just absurd to me. Wow, shouldn’t Sam have been the one focusing on how to help Dean through HIS terrible time this go around? The one who suffered decades of torture so Sam could live. The one who was ALSO fighting manipulation from powerful, threatening forces that season. But no. Sam is NEVER the one helping. He is only the one being helped and demanding support. And somehow he has no responsibility for this dynamic. I mean, he can’t be asked to help. That’s just ridiculous!)