Dean not caring what happens to him is a sign that he’s suffering from Major Depression. It’s a sign that he has active suicidal ideation (which he has already demonstrated multiple times before). He needs therapy and some sort of antidepressive medication. He needs to be told that he has value and that he’s loved just for being Dean without any quantifications. For fuck’sake people stop romanticizing a character’s obvious mental health issues, especially a character many of you supposedly care for.
So let me get this straight, when Donatello doesn’t have any faith in God he’s “exorcising his Free Will”, but Dean doesn’t have faith in God, he’s wrongfully putting all of his John baggage on Chuck and being an asshole?
Co-dependency: is a learned behavior that can be passed down from one generation to another. It is an emotional and behavioral condition that affects an individual’s ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. It is also known as “relationship addiction” because people with codependency often form or maintain relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive and/or abusive. (Sam and Dean)The disorder was first identified about ten years ago as the result of years of studying interpersonal relationships in families of alcoholics. Co-dependent behavior is learned by watching and imitating other family members who display this type of behavior.
What is a Dysfunctional Family and How Does it Lead to Co-dependency?
A dysfunctional family is one in which members suffer from fear, anger, pain, or shame that is ignored or denied. Underlying problems may include any of the following:
-An addiction by a family member to drugs, alcohol, relationships, work, food, sex, or gambling. (John Winchester is in canon an alcoholic. Dean follows in his path as well as Sam.)
-The existence of physical, emotional, or sexual abuse. (It is heavily implied that Dean had been physically abused when Sam ran away)
-The presence of a family member suffering from a chronic mental or physical illness.
Dysfunctional families do not acknowledge that problems exist. They don’t talk about them or confront them. (Shoot first ask questions later. Dean never wants to discuss how he feels. Even when Sam asks him) As a result, family members learn to repress emotions and disregard their own needs. (DEAN) They become “survivors.” They develop behaviors that help them deny, ignore, or avoid difficult emotions. (DEAN) They detach themselves. (DEAN)They don’t talk. (DEAN)They don’t touch. (DEAN)They don’t confront. (DEAN)They don’t feel. (DEAN) They don’t trust. (DEAN)The identity and emotional development of the members of a dysfunctional family are often inhibited
Attention and energy focus on the family member who is ill or addicted. The co-dependent person typically sacrifices his or her needs to take care of a person who is sick. (Dean sacrifices again and again for Sam) When co-dependents place other people’s health, welfare and safety before their own, they can lose contact with their own needs, desires, and sense of self. (DEAN FUCKING WINCHESTER)
How Do Co-dependent People Behave?
Co-dependents have low self-esteem and look for anything outside of themselves to make them feel better. They find it hard to “be themselves.” Some try to feel better through alcohol, drugs or nicotine – and become addicted. Others may develop compulsive behaviors like workaholism, gambling, or indiscriminate sexual activity. (DEAN)
They have good intentions. (DEAN) They try to take care of a person who is experiencing difficulty, but the caretaking becomes compulsive and defeating. Co-dependents often take on a martyr’s role and become “benefactors” to an individual in need. A wife may cover for her alcoholic husband; a mother may make excuses for a truant child; or a father may “pull some strings” to keep his child from suffering the consequences of delinquent behavior.
The problem is that these repeated rescue attempts allow the needy individual to continue on a destructive course and to become even more dependent on the unhealthy caretaking of the “benefactor.” As this reliance increases, the co-dependent develops a sense of reward and satisfaction from “being needed.” When the caretaking becomes compulsive, the co-dependent feels choiceless and helpless in the relationship, but is unable to break away from the cycle of behavior that causes it. Co-dependents view themselves as victims and are attracted to that same weakness in the love and friendship relationships. (Sam and Dean)
Characteristics of Co-dependent People Are (Dean and Sam both fit MANY of these):
-An exaggerated sense of responsibility for the actions of others(Dean and Sam)
-A tendency to confuse love and pity, with the tendency to “love” people they can pity and rescue(Dean and Sam)
-A tendency to do more than their share, all of the time(Dean and Sam)
-A tendency to become hurt when people don’t recognize their efforts(Dean and Sam)
-An unhealthy dependence on relationships. The co-dependent will do anything to hold on to a relationship; to avoid the feeling of abandonment(Dean and Sam)
-An extreme need for approval and recognition (Dean)
-A sense of guilt when asserting themselves
-A compelling need to control others
-Lack of trust in self and/or others (Dean)
-Fear of being abandoned or alone (Dean)
-Difficulty identifying feelings (Dean)
-Rigidity/difficulty adjusting to change (Dean)
-Problems with intimacy/boundaries (Dean)
-Chronic anger (Dean/Sam)
-Lying/dishonesty (Dean/Sam)
-Poor communications (Dean/Sam)
-Difficulty making decisions
Now are you REALLY gonna sit here and tell me that Dean and Sam’s relationship is beautiful and romantic and so perfect and good? IT IS TOXIC AS FUCKING TOXIC CAN GET AND SHOULD NOT BE ROMANTICIZED! Stop treating co Dependancy like its a good thing. It’s not. It’s a viscous cycle that destroys people and destroys relationships. And Sam and Dean’s relationship will end up destroying them both in the end. They would need therapy and time away from each other. They would need to learn to be their own people. Their relationship….is NOT healthy.
So, I’m watching Jessica Jones and can’t help but notice the similarities between Jessica and Kilgrave’s relationship and Dean and Amara’s.
I think the first time i thought ‘wait, why does it all seem so familiar?’ was after the scene where Kilgrave comes to the police station so that Jessica woudn’t go to jail for his murder. He wants to express his eternal love for her, explains that everything he’s been doing was for her. Jessica, of course, thinks this is a sick joke, to what Kilgrave answers ‘I am new to love, but i know what it looks like. I do watch television’.
Now, who else do we know who’s learned everything about pretty much everything from the internet and television? Amara. Who, probably, did not even know what love was before that. So, she stuffs herself up with all those romantic stories that have ever been written and thinks ‘hey, i’m feeling something towards Dean, but i’m not really sure what it is exactly, but i’ve seen all those romantic stories about star-crossed
lovers, and me and Dean fit the profile, that means we’re in love’. I know i exaggerated a little, but my point stays the same.
Then the similarities continued. Kilgrave bought Jessica’s old house to make her happy, to make her see that he loves her. Well, isn’t that the same thing, to some extents, that Amara’s been trying to do? She promises Dean ‘no pain, no prayer, just bliss’, only if he gives himself over to her.
Jessica Jones makes it clear that Kilgrave raped Jessica, violated every thought in her brain, made her doubt herself, he even tried to make her think that she felt something for him, which Jessica immediately denied. Amara forces her feelings onto Dean and calls it ‘destiny’ (Kilgrave calls him and Jessica ‘inevitable’), she kisses him against his will, makes him doubt himself, makes him think that he actually might be feeling something for her, which all scares Dean so much, because he doesn’t know what is true anymore.
Maybe, unlike Kilgrave, Amara’s not doing it all to Dean intentionally, but it still doesn’t justify her actions. Unlike Supernatural, Jessica Jones makes it very clear that you can’t blame bad parenting or every bad thing that has ever happened in your life for every shitty thing you do. Maybe nobody ever taught Kilgrave what is right and what is wrong, but he’s still a person who chose to be bad. The same thing with Amara. She learned everything about the world and its people. It didn’t stop her from consuming people’s souls and turning them into monsters. It didn’t stop her from killing innocents just to try to get God’s attention.
What they both don’t understand that free will is everything. That’s why their sick versions of love don’t sit too well with Jessica and Dean.
Jessica Jones does everything to show us that Kilgrave’s a manipulative rapist, whose actions are not to be justified just because he had a bad childhood, while Supernatural has done nothing nearly enough to show that what Amara’s doing is wrong, which, honestly? makes me doubt if it’s ever going to.
totally agree 100%. Amara uses her mind control to make Dean feel bliss and even enough to “return the kiss” much to his disgust afterward. If they take this further, I will be really disturbed.
this this this. can’t believe i didn’t notice this before. the whole entire thing (for both shows) doesn’t sit well in my stomach…
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