becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys:
Owls are masters of disguise, blending seamlessly into their surroundings.
These trees appear to be judging me.
They are, but the owls are beautiful
Holy crap
No joke I was a manager at Hot Topic during peak Twilight craze and let me tell you it was ~ w y l d ~
Headquarters told us to stop putting size stickers or sensors on the new shirts that would come in, just put them out as fast as we could and literally people would rip piles from our arms!!!
like we had a midnight release “party” for ppl who preordered their copy of Twilight but like it got out of hand and 1200 ppl showed up. we had to assign someone to be security for the Edward cardboard cutout because ppl were biting it
good homeopathy: i use lavender because it smells nice and helps me sleep
bad homeopathy: i use lavender and it smells so nice that i stop getting vaccinated
good homeopathy: increasing fruit and green leafy vegetables in my child’s diet might help them beat leukemia
bad homeopathy: chemotherapy drugs are full of toxic chemicals so I’m gonna cleanse my child with this tea for 2 weeks
Yall sound like elitist assholes who spend more time judging people they dont know than they do researching substances
I am terminally ill and venting about salespeople that try to scam me and my friends at medical conventions but go off

…holy shit
None of the characters ever figure this out because they stop taking math at age 11
Happy Thanksgiving!
The fact that we can accidentally bite the insides of our cheeks has to be the biggest design flaw of the human body.
NO SORRY IT’S THE FACT THAT OUR TRACHEA AND ESOPHAGUS CROSS AND BRIEFLY OCCUPY THE SAME HOLE
DOLPHINS DON’T HAVE THIS PROBLEM.WE ONLY GET ONE SET OF ADULT TEETH THAT ARE DESIGNED TO LAST MAYBE HALF OUR EXPECTED LIFESPAN
OUR LOWER BACKS ARE STRUCTURALLY FUCKED FROM MAKING A SHITTY TRANSITION TO BEING BIPEDS
INTELLIGENT DESIGN MY ASS, BUT AT THE VERY LEAST WE’RE NOT HORSES
“In conclusion, the humans were extremely angry until they saw the horse, and then thought ‘Well, that bastard’s got it rough, this ain’t so bad’“
reese witherspoon throwing ice cream at meryl streep on the set of big little lies season two
i thought that this was just reese witherspoon living her life tbh

























