veneredirimmel:

mary wanting to fix everything in any way she could for her sons without their imput without asking without consulting. mary lying manipulating and dragging hes sons into a letal situation while working for people that had tortured and tried to kill them because she ‘knew better’ is on par with some of john winchester’s actions. i don’t think it’s terrible to look at it critically the same the way we do look at john’s actions. in fact excusing mary or worse blaming dean for her actions because he was being a teenager or whatever else argument fans have come up with is a sign of sexism. female characters can be flawed  and i find the resistance to look at her choices, even in her specific circumstances, where john has been harshly judged, to be a bad pattern in fandom. mary’s actions may have lacked the connotations of abuse that a lot of john’s actions had also given the well of story and shared experience between john, dean and sam, but not by much considering she used her blood bond and the emotional connection with them (being their parent) to buy a loyalty and a trust that a stranger wouldn’t have gotten so easily. 

turning the tables on dean is also a pattern of this fandom whenever someone makes a bad choice. if only dean had communicated better! if only dean had not been that hurt! if only dean *insert whatever here* when the real subject of the analysis should be what has made that character, in this case mary, make those choices. the pattern instead is to negate dean’s right to be hurt by hurtful choices and put the onus on him for them and it’s amazing how consistent this is.